Just give me a minute
I have to find my smile
so I can put it on for you
///
It is my shield
It covers up all the unpleasant things
The things that everyone wishes didn't exist
The dark places, the deep ravines
Sunshine and sparkles- don't expose the flint and steel
///
If I put my shield down, if I was true to all of me-
you wouldn't like what you see
If you saw my scars, my imperfections
You would not call me "beautiful"
You would have no interest in calling me your "babe"
///
You would be appalled, taken aback
at the real sight of me
I don't mean to hide, but it's just become too easy to keep it all inside
I bottle it up, one day it will burst- until then, though, I'm safely contained
///
If you could see my pain
You wouldn't let my steely blue eyes rest on you too long-
afraid that I might be contagious-
afraid to get too close
///
But that's okay, because the closer you get
the more I hurt
New scars are formed and old ones ache
///
When you leave,
when I leave,
when you have played the game and no longer have use for it,
when you decide that I am not worth your time,
that I am not who you thought I was,
that I am not like your cookie cutter,
I will not be surprised
I will not blame you- how could I?
Why should you be any different than the others?
///
Truth be told, I am coming to expect it
Scars tell stories
and stories always have an end
some end before I want them to
others drag on far too long,
but in the end, nothing is infinite
There is no "infinity and beyond"
Forever is a word and words hurt
///
I hurt.
I feel every little thing that you do to me
The good
The bad
The "just enough to get by"
///
I agonize over you
Over the things you say
the things you do
I cannot turn it off
I cannot control it
These things come and go-
like a hurricane, leaving a trail
///
I glorify you
I wish I had your life, just for a day
I am in awe of you
I want to be like you
You make me want to be more
to do more
But you hurt me. And the cycle continues.
///
I know I should do something
I know the cycle needs to be put to an end
But I don't know how
Some days, I swear I don't know anything
Some days, I am not even sure how I get through
Maybe I am the only thing that's broken
///
If I put down my shield,
would I be done fighting?
Would I be exposed to everything
and not be able to heal from the hurt
///
You reject me
I do not fit in
But I am resilient
I will carry on
I will hide my scars
I will care for you no matter what you do
I will ache when you ache
I will rejoice when you rejoice
But I will always know the end is near
///
"Every end is a new beginning" they say
I do believe it's true
Every time one person walks out
another walks in
"No two people are exactly alike" they say
I know this is true
I know I will never find another you
I do not need another you, though
You left a little piece of you with me,
and I will always have it.
Can't you see it, too?
This one's from you.
///
"I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all" he sang
I sang along with him
I don't want to be numb
I am not dumb
If you feel nothing
perhaps you are nothing.
Pain reminds me that I'm alive
Scars heal
and pain goes away
Pain means you care
and I will always care
///
You can abandon me
but I am the puppy that always returns to you
In good times and bad,
I will be there for you
///
Maybe I will lift my shield
///
Maybe then you could see, that I'm not a mystery
I am just me
I am just bruised, but not broken
///
I have to find my smile
so I can put it on for you
///
It is my shield
It covers up all the unpleasant things
The things that everyone wishes didn't exist
The dark places, the deep ravines
Sunshine and sparkles- don't expose the flint and steel
///
If I put my shield down, if I was true to all of me-
you wouldn't like what you see
If you saw my scars, my imperfections
You would not call me "beautiful"
You would have no interest in calling me your "babe"
///
You would be appalled, taken aback
at the real sight of me
I don't mean to hide, but it's just become too easy to keep it all inside
I bottle it up, one day it will burst- until then, though, I'm safely contained
///
If you could see my pain
You wouldn't let my steely blue eyes rest on you too long-
afraid that I might be contagious-
afraid to get too close
///
But that's okay, because the closer you get
the more I hurt
New scars are formed and old ones ache
///
When you leave,
when I leave,
when you have played the game and no longer have use for it,
when you decide that I am not worth your time,
that I am not who you thought I was,
that I am not like your cookie cutter,
I will not be surprised
I will not blame you- how could I?
Why should you be any different than the others?
///
Truth be told, I am coming to expect it
Scars tell stories
and stories always have an end
some end before I want them to
others drag on far too long,
but in the end, nothing is infinite
There is no "infinity and beyond"
Forever is a word and words hurt
///
I hurt.
I feel every little thing that you do to me
The good
The bad
The "just enough to get by"
///
I agonize over you
Over the things you say
the things you do
I cannot turn it off
I cannot control it
These things come and go-
like a hurricane, leaving a trail
///
I glorify you
I wish I had your life, just for a day
I am in awe of you
I want to be like you
You make me want to be more
to do more
But you hurt me. And the cycle continues.
///
I know I should do something
I know the cycle needs to be put to an end
But I don't know how
Some days, I swear I don't know anything
Some days, I am not even sure how I get through
Maybe I am the only thing that's broken
///
If I put down my shield,
would I be done fighting?
Would I be exposed to everything
and not be able to heal from the hurt
///
You reject me
I do not fit in
But I am resilient
I will carry on
I will hide my scars
I will care for you no matter what you do
I will ache when you ache
I will rejoice when you rejoice
But I will always know the end is near
///
"Every end is a new beginning" they say
I do believe it's true
Every time one person walks out
another walks in
"No two people are exactly alike" they say
I know this is true
I know I will never find another you
I do not need another you, though
You left a little piece of you with me,
and I will always have it.
Can't you see it, too?
This one's from you.
///
"I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all" he sang
I sang along with him
I don't want to be numb
I am not dumb
If you feel nothing
perhaps you are nothing.
Pain reminds me that I'm alive
Scars heal
and pain goes away
Pain means you care
and I will always care
///
You can abandon me
but I am the puppy that always returns to you
In good times and bad,
I will be there for you
///
Maybe I will lift my shield
///
Maybe then you could see, that I'm not a mystery
I am just me
I am just bruised, but not broken
///
No comments:
Post a Comment