Friendships

I have really been thinking a lot lately about friendships. I have found that they are so unsteady! I have decided that there is no such thing as a "best friend," every friend is the best in their own way! It is just rude and exclusive to give one friend superiority, one person is there for you at one time, and the other at another time! Also, just about every time I proclaim someone as "my best friend" I lose them, or hurt others by doing so. No one wants to feel inferior.

On the other hand, I want to be the best friend I can be, I don't want to be the "best friend" I just want to be someone that others can depend on. Someone who is reliable, helpful, supportive, loving, can make someone cheer up or be happy no matter what, and someone who always has time for you! Everyone deserves a friend that is the best, someone who has no secrets, someone you have this inexplainable connection with, someone who can finish your thoughts- let alone your sentences- someone who completes you.
Sometimes I wonder if it is even possible to be the kind of friend I want to be. I will have to make small person changes and sacrifices if I even want to try. First of all, I would have to give up my time and energy. I would have to commit to always responding to a text or call, and making sure that I say 'hi' when I see someone, to smile, to wave, to offer help to those who need it. All in all, this task becomes quite lofty, when you think about all the ways someone could need you, and all the ways you could help! However, I want to make a commitment, even if it's just to myself, to be the best I can be! To be the best for myself, to be the best for others, and to be the best friend that I can be.


To me, friendships have become more of a phase. For a time you're friends with someone, for a little while you are close and proclaim to never be otherwise, you can't ever imagine a day without at least talking to them. But then a day goes by, and you find that you survive. You miss them, and it feels wrong, but your day goes on regardless, and you realize it isn't really so bad. If you're lucky, this won't continue to happen, so you will simply have to trust that what I believe happens next is true. However, as the sad story of life has told me, this occurrence does happen. Your closest friend and yourself talk less and less, you see each other less, and when you do see each other, some of the significance, some of the togetherness is gone. This downward trend continues to happen, until you feel such distance from he or she that your friendship is just not even repairable, and you're not even sure that trying to invest in it is worth it. At this point, you have reached the beginning of realizing that friendships, and all relationships, are for a time, not forever. Nothing can last forever, it's the disappointing truth. Even the people that mean the world to you, your significant other, your parents, your siblings, have to leave at some point. I'm not saying everyone you ever know, or have ever known will abandon you, I am simply pointing out that everyone must go at one time or another. This life is so very temporary.

You change or others change, perhaps even both of you change. You move on, go new places, do new things, meet new people, aspire to achieve new goals. One day you wake up and figure out that you are simply not the person you were last year, last month, or maybe even last week. This is not always, and does not have to be, a bad thing. If you never changed, you would not be human. Humans are constantly changing, our bodies are changing, our minds are changing, we're growing, we're learning, we're a little different everyday, even if the changes are minuscule.

It has been a long time since I've written anything, so I think it's time to change that! It's not that I haven't had anything to write about, all kinds of things have been going on! I simply get distracted or forget the significance of writing and journaling.

I will start with a basic overview of some of the bigger things that have happened lately, starting with today.

I didn't have any plans for today, but then Hope asked if I wanted to go to the JWU hockey game. I agreed, and I'm so glad that I did!! It was incredible, intense, and hockey players truly have talent!! It was definitely worth it sitting in the super cold to watch the game, I would really like to go to the next game! It is amazing the things you find out that you like or admire when you go out and do something different!

Yesterday (Friday the 10th) I had an appointment with Michael and set up my schedule for the spring trimester! That was definitely exciting, but overwhelming too! I was scheduled for not only PM labs, but also 2 academic classes, both starting at 9:20 am. I am concerned that I have taken on too much at once, especially once work study is thrown in there. Anyhow, Michael said after the spring trimester I will only have one more academic class, then for my Sophomore year I will have my internship, then my Sophomore labs, then I can start my Junior labs! That was pretty crazy I thought!! I am grateful for that though, I think it will be a good thing for me! :) I have to figure out what and when I'm doing my internship, then I have to decide exactly what I want for my Bachelor's degree. It always seemed like I knew exactly what I wanted to do, and that I had a good plan for the future, but now I know there are so many more options and decisions to make! Possibilities and new opportunities are certainly good though!!
Oh, yes! After my registration appointment Hope and I went over to the CCCE building to help Mark and the ACFCC with the Certification exams. It was really neat to just be able to observe the chefs and see what they were able to make and do! There were both Culinary and Pastry exams going on, and we were able to watch them make the products, watch the food get photographed, and see/hear the results of the Certification. After all the to-do was over Hope, Mark, a few other people and I cleaned up the labs that were used, I was glad to actually do something useful instead of just watching and being in the way. That was a really great, interesting and unique experience though!!

Thursday nights at JWU mean UIB (University Involvement Board) hosted movie nights! Hope and I went, we watched "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2" which was playing. That was a really good movie, especially for a college full of foodies like us!!

The rest of my week has mostly consisted of class, work, eating, and then hanging out with friends or doing whatever I find to do.

On Saturday, January 4th at midnight I got back to JWU after enjoying Christmas break. It was so, so nice being home for Christmas! There are so many things I missed, especially my family and friends!! I was able to see all of my family, and friends, I had some great food, enjoyed the Christmas spirit and of course Christmas itself!! :)